People have been asking me all day if I'm going out tonight for Valentines day.
We never go out on Valentines day. Although we did try it once.
We're not being bah humbug, we're not boycotting valentines, and we're not being un-romantic. In fact we are both very romantic. And super cheesey. We just find that going out en masse and sitting in rows of couple after couple all eating pink heart shaped food for twice the price it would normally be, all desperately trying to make sure we're enjoying ourselves as much as we should, being as romantic and loving as we should, in public, is actually not that romantic. For us anyway.
To us, it all feels a bit forced. And empty. And commercial.
It just doesn't feel right, and neither do the supermarket shelves filled with random valentines themed tat.
To us it's more of an intimate, personal thing. So every year we set the table all nicely, light a load of candles, and we either cook together or Alex cooks for me. We cook a meal that we've designed and planned together, that we take at our own pace and we just enjoy by ourselves. Maybe that sounds boring to some people but we like it.
The one year we did go out we were rammed up so close to another couple we ended up spending most of the night listening to their (slightly forced) conversation and sniggering at the gifts they were swapping (without much enthusiasm on his part).
In fact that is one down side to not going out, not being able to laugh at all the other couples! Oh, and the washing up, but Alex looks after that so all fine by me.
What has this got to do with being happy?
Well, quite a bit.
It's all just about finding what's right for you and being true to that. It's not about doing what's expected of you or conforming to somebody else's idea of Valentine's day, or of happiness. It's about finding the right formula for you. Just because everybody else wants to go out, doesn't mean we should. And just because we don't like going out, doesn't mean nobody else should. I think the more we live out our own formula the more comfortable and happy we will feel.
And if you're by yourself? Today's as good a day as any to start loving yourself a bit more too, and we could all do with a bit more of that couldn't we really.
So, Happy St. Valentines day everybody, whichever way you choose to spend it.