Thursday 14 February 2013

Agape Day

Last year I wrote a post about Valentine's day, about how Alex and I don't much go in for heart shaped stuff and overpriced meals crammed in too tight next to other couples. Instead we have always preferred to have a quite evening just the two of us at home.

Nothing's changed, but this year I've realised I've combined what I now know from positive psychology with our own little brand of romance.

Usually I would have spent quite a lot of time choosing a card, deciding what to have for dinner, finding a little gift etc.  All quite superficial things, that cost money. I suppose choosing the exact perfect thing showed I care, or that's what I thought.

This year, though, I thought to myself, what would he really like? And having spent the last few weeks living in what looks like a rather unpleasant bomb site while I prepare for my teaching interviews, surrounded by resources and books and notes, I immediately knew the answer. What Alex would really like is his house back. Neat and tidy. In order and not covered in children's books and smiley face labels.

So, instead of milling round the shops for hours trying to buy something that said I cared, I did something because I cared.  I spent 6 hours tidying and cleaning the house from top to bottom. I lit all the candles and I ran a bath. So that when he walked in, instead of being greeted by dust and muck and mess, he was greeted by a calming, relaxing and clear space in which to relax for the evening after a day at work. And then I cooked a simple turkey salad. Yum.

So, like last year there were no fancy restaurants, no cheesey meals, no heart shaped nonsense anywhere.  But there was true love.  The Greek Agape is often likened to caring about another's wellbeing, and that's exactly what fuelled me today. Agape.

And the apple crumble helped too :)


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